Find your Community

Nature has made us resilient creatures, but when faced with major changes or adversity, I am reminded of the importance of community.

Although I wish I could do it all, (have successful full time job, spend quality time with my family and run a healthy household), that is not realistic without help.
If we look to history, communities used to be more like family. Women helped each other through pregnancy and raising their children. Neighbors helped those in need.

Now we have developed into a society where children move away from family and are isolated in individual homes. We often work a distance from our homes and we like to keep those parts of our lives separate. That results in us being separated from our natural support network and spending a majority of our waking hours with coworkers that know nothing of our home life.

So how do we keep from getting isolated when we are faced with change and challenges?
I have heard that when faced with crisis (like a natural disaster) women are the first to adapt by building networks and communities.

Here are some effective ways I have seen to build and maintain your network:

1. ReConnect with family and friends
Technology makes this even easier. We are all familiar with social media, like Facebook and Twitter, but even email is not as personal as face to face. We use Skype a lot to talk to family. It helps for us to see facial expressions and allows family to watch our son grow.
The best option is seeing your family and friends in person. I have a New Years goal to host a dinner for friends or family at least once a month.
And do not forget family reunions and celebration events. Although you might not agree with your relatives on politics, you may be able to agree that grandma made the best chocolate chip cookies.

2. Meet your neighbors
When you have kids, the easiest place to meet other parents is on the Playground. Even if you do not know them well, you can usually swap kid stories, especially if their kids are in the same age range.
Meeting my neighbors takes a little more extroversion than my husband and I naturally have, so if you are like us, look for opportunities when others organize something (block party, neighborhood night out, etc) to participate.

3. Special interest groups
Look for organizations where you have something in common. Examples: Alumni, hobbies, church, parents groups. Local parents groups are especially good for new parents to connect with others in similar situations. I do admit it is difficult to find active working mother groups, since we do not usually have a lot of extra time. The ones I have seen work planned family activities.
You can usually search on the web for these type of organizations or use Meetup.com.

4. Volunteer
Volunteering is an excellent way to give back and get involved in your community. It makes you feel good and you can meet others with similar values.
One challenge I am struggling with is finding an activity/organization that I can help, without taking time away from my family. I have been investigating options near my work, as well as activities that include kids. Let me know if you have ideas.

In the end, remember that you are not alone. There are many friends, family and others in similar situations that are willing to help you, you just have to reach out.