New year, new toothbrush

Happy new year!

And as we start the year off fresh, with new resolutions and goals, it is also a good time to refresh our toiletries.

So take a walk around your house and check everything that should be replaced regularly, especially in the bathroom. 

- toothbrushes - every 3-4 months

- mascara - every 3 months

- pencil eyeliners - sharpen regularly

- powder shadows- 2 years

- liquids (foundation) - 1 year

- Liquid eyeliner - 3-6 months

- check expiration on medicines 

Other suggestions to start the year off right:

- smoke detector batteries

- fridge water filter 

- hvac filters

- car oil change

- check expiration on fire extinguisher

- replace water in your home emergency kit (keep x gallons per person)

- check expiration on pantry food 

- meal plan with the frozen and stored food (rotate out your current stock pile)

Here's to a healthy and fresh new year!

Grace - give yourself a break

When you are a parent, there is no instruction manual. And yet, we expect that we should intrinsically know how to do this. Maybe it is the media or maybe it is our internal expectation of ourselves, but it seems like everyone else is making it work, so we must be doing it wrong. 

Give yourself a break. Do not be so hard on yourself.  No one can do it all. That is why Woner Woman is a fictional character. Even those women who seem to be put together all the time are sacrificing something. Everyone has different priorities and experiences. 

Here are some areas that I have had to give myself some leeway on:

- not all meals need to be from scratch. I want to offer my family healthy, hearty meals with minimal processing. Although a vegetable rich meal cooked from scratch is ideal, it is not easy and often takes time. 

It is ok for me to use processed frozen meals sometimes. I can choose healthier brands/flavors and add extra vegetables on the side. 

- sometimes I use the IPad to entertain my son while I get house chores done. For the first 2 years of his life we limited his screen time to Skype calls with family.  With a little help from Grandma, he has learned about other games and TV shows online. Most of the time, I watch the program with him, but now that I know the content, I can let him watch while I finish the dishes or fold laundry. Getting those little things done goes a long way in improving my sanity for the day. 30 minutes of screen time will not turn him into a zombie. 

- my house does not need to be tour ready at all times. I have housekeepers come in once a month for deep cleaning and I take care of the laundry and spot cleaning. I would rather spend quality time with my family than do housework. 

What areas do you need to give yourself some slack?

Keep calm and carry on

I know this phrase has been over used recently, but it is my new mantra, as I deal with a newborn and a strong willed toddler...at the same time. 

1.  Keeping calm takes as much energy and control as I can muster. Sometimes I hope that the big breaths I am taking will calm down my toddler as well. 

2.  Carry on - remember, this too will pass. 

When you are in the thick of it, it is hard to remember, but it will not always be this crazy. Try to focus on the good points and the precious time you have when your kids are this small. Before you know it, they will be grown and those temper tantrums over more time on the iPad will be long forgotten. 

Gender roles in your family

How do you pass on ideas of gender roles and responsibilities to your kids?  Media and peers will influence, but the example you set in your own household sets the stage and expectation for your kids. 

Both my husband and I work full time and we take turns dropping and picking up our son from daycare.  We tag team playing with him in the evening while the other person washes dishes or checks email.  When he is sick, we try to switch days that we stay home with him. 

I have noticed that my son often mention his stuffed animals relying on their dad, while mom is at work. When reading a Llama Llama book, he asked where the dad was, while mom was running all the errands. By modeling gender equity as parents and providers, we can help reset the cultural expectation for our kids. I am not advocating that moms have to work, but just knowing that is a normal option changes the dynamic. 

One of the principles Cheryl Sandberg mentions in her book, "Lean In," is to make your partner a partner.  In order to support both careers, you need to share responsibilities in the home as well. 

I have to admit it is still not always even in our household. I usually plan the meals, shop and cook. Not so much because I am the only one capable, but because I take the initiative before my husband does.  If we planned it out ahead of time, we could organize a more balanced system. 

So that is one of my challenges this year, to be a role model (along with my husband) of balanced responsibility in the household. 

Tech toys for girls

I recently went shopping for birthday gifts for my sons friends and was overwhelmed by the lack of creativity in toys on the general market.

1.  They were all branded (Disney, super heroes, cartoons). 

2.  The girl toys were all pink and related to princesses and fairies. 

In general, I felt disappointed. I would not buy these toys for my own child, why should I buy them for someone else's?

I especially struggled in the "girl" aisle, surrounded by princesses and dolls. I am expecting a baby girl in a month and I do not want to limit her to dolls. I want to give something more tactile or a "doll" that sends a different message.

So here are some ideas for "girl" toys:

• Why not a line of career women?  They could play "work" instead of "house". 
• I recently read an article on fostering creativity in kids:  blocks, puzzles, dress up and crafts were all on the list. 
• One item I was surprised to find on this "creativity" list was gears.  I found a novel girl toy, designed by women: "GoldieBlox", that involves gears and ribbons. 

I hope that there are more options for my daughter when she gets old enough for these types of toys. 

What other ideas have you seen or heard about?

Using the Scientific Method with kids

I have been thinking about how my son is exploring the world and what types of tools can help his journey.

One process that I believe works well in the scientific community is the Scientific Method. Why not use this structure to help our kids explore their world?

I know it sounds geeky, but if anything, it gives a framework and language we can relate to, when talking about the learning process. 

Scientific Method:

1.  Create Hypothesis

2.  Test/Experiment

3.  Analyze results

4.  Form Conclusion

1.  Hypothesizing is about questioning the world and thinking about "why". Not only is it important for us to answer our child's questions, but also challenge what they think.  

One of my first memories of teaching in Africa during my Peace Corps service was asking my high school students why they thought bread molded. At first, they only gave me blank stares. They were used to rote memorization and rarely asked open ended questions. By mid-year, some of them got used to my teaching style and even came up with their own experiments. 

"What do you think?" Is a great question to challenge your child and let them know you are interested in their thoughts and opinions. 

2.  Childhood is all about testing the world around you. Babies start by putting things  in their mouth.  Once they are more mobile they use their fingers. Toddlers start to test Boundaries.  Give your kids opportunities to test the world around them (in a controlled manner).  Sensory play is popular right now (playing with beans, sand, beads, different shapes, etc).  Talking walks and observing nature is also useful.

There are also lots of ideas for creative play on patenting websites and Pinterest. I especially like blocks, crafts, puzzles and dress up games. 

3.  Analyzing results is where I think parents can help the most. There is a lot of data out in the world and it is difficult to make sense of it sometimes, even for adults.  Helping children identify what is significant and important will help them make consistent decisions.  

4.  Conclusions are thoughts that parents can help provoke. After conducting an experiment (sensory play, nature observations, etc), ask them about what they observed and learned.  The "what do you think?" question is useful for this phase as well. 

In the end, your children will continue to explore and process the world around them. All we can do is help them along the way. And share our passions, especially for math and science. 

Why I chose Engineering

I grew up in the generation when our parents told us we could be whoever we wanted to be.  I was not afraid to ask questions or raise my hand.  I expected to go to college because that is what my parents did. My mother had a Bachelor's degree, even though she was a stay at home mom.

I liked school, especially math and science. It helped that I was good at it, which probably fueled my enjoyment of both subjects.  My interest in engineering really started with my childhood dream to design amusement park rides. Since my first trip to Disneyland, I decided I wanted to be involved in making an experience that entertained people like that. I was not great at art, but I liked to build. If there were Maker-Fairs in the 80's, I would have totally been there. Instead, 4H and Girl Scouts were my base of encouragement. 

In high school, I attended a Society of Women Engineers (SWE) event for high schoolers at the local college and that is where I was hooked. I do not remember what exactly we did, but I remember it was all fun and it was called "engineering."  I was already a nerd and involved in all the Science and Math competitions, so this seemed like a logical area of focus.

When applying to college, I specifically looked at schools with engineering programs. I chose Harvey Mudd College, which focused on math, science and engineering.  The low female to male ratios did not deter me and became more of a badge of honor.  In my classes, the atmosphere was collaborative and supportive, regardless of gender.

I continued to enjoy the hands on aspect of engineering and focused on the most tangible (in my opinion), Mechanical. I decided I wanted to be involved in building things that touched every day lives, which led me to consumer products manufacturing.

I have to admit, that the manufacturing world was less collaborative and supportive than academia.  I felt like I had to prove my abilities and intelligence before gaining respect.  I often had a different manner of communicating and empathizing than my male counterparts.  Although sometimes more effective, new techniques are always looked at with skepticism.  But I continued to learn and demonstrate my skills and have continued in manufacturing, design and process improvement.

I have heard that recently, the number of women studying STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) subjects, especially computer science, has flattened in recent years.  More interesting to me, is that there are less women working in STEM industries.  Looking back at the reasons that we chose these subjects to study and work in, what can we learn and pass on to the next generations?

Transitions

Transitions are changes, sometimes planned, but not always in our control.  There are a lot of transitions in my household right now, as we just welcomed a new baby into the world. My husband and I are transitioning into parenting two kids and my toddler is transitioning into being a big brother, with someone new to share the attention. 

In the midst of these changes, there are days I am overwhelmed and it is hard to remember any light at the end of the tunnel. 

When dealing with change, I suggest thinking about the Past, Present, and Future.

Just like the Christmas Carol story, being able to think about these time periods will help you gain perspective. 

Past

Although you do not want to dwell on the past and how easy everything was before.  Instead, you can reflect on Past accomplishments. 

When life seems especially hard, remember some of the big things you have accomplished and already overcome. This helps me gain perspective. When thinking of past accomplishments, I remember how strong and resilient I am. 

When running my first (and only) marathon, during the last mile, I told myself that this was nothing compared to labor. Knowing I had endured pain and fatigue before helped me power through to complete 26.2 miles. 

Preserve good memories and Learn from mistakes. 

Present

Be present. Enjoy the positives. 

Even if the moment is painful, focus on the little things that you will look back on.  

During sleepless nights with my newborn, I focus on her tiny face and features. I know she will not be this small forever, so I need to soak it in now. 

Be patient, especially with yourself. 

The challenges of the changes may seem overwhelming and you may not recognize your progress. Take a step back when you get frustrated and recognize how much you have accomplished and how far you have come. Currently, I feel like I have made no progress on getting my baby to sleep through the night, but then I remember it has only been 3 weeks. 

Plan for the future 

You can not control the outcome of your change or transition, but you can prepare.  

Part of that is preparing yourself to be flexible.  As much as we plan, we do not always get the expected results, especially with kids. As situations change, you can alter your plan and try something different. 

Life is a journey, so our job is to learn, grow and help others along the way. 

Our toddler has recently had several major transitions. He is a big brother and we are in the midst of potty training. Not an ideal combo, I know. So how can I use this advice for his situation?

1.  Use the example if his baby sister to remind him of the things he could not do before, but now he can as a big boy. 

2.  Talk about the importance of being a big brother and how he can demonstrate that. 

3.  Use positive rewards for "big boy" and "big brother" behavior...using the potty, setting the table, clearing his plate, picking up his toys/books. 

Ok, so I am still in the midst of this experiment, but I will let you know how it goes. 

Women supporting Women

I am 8 months pregnant and starting to get nervous about the whole delivery process, even though this is my second time going through it. As I get closer to my due date, I remind myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years. 

Granted, it is a fundamentally natural process, but the system of delivery and expectations of maternity have changed drastically. 

Hundreds of years ago, pregnant women were attended to by midwives and supported by all the women in the community. You knew your children would be in good care with family or neighbors, without even asking. 

In our modern world, the process may be a lot safer (for both mother and baby), but it is very sterile. You may see the same doctor or midwife for check ups, but you never know who will be available at the hospital when you deliver. 

You can take prenatal classes, but it is probably the first time you have discussed this level of detail about birthing. You most likely have not witnessed another birth and may not even know your own birth story. All of the family and community knowledge is no longer passed down in the same way it used to be.  You usually only hear other peoples horror stories and advice about what hospital or procedures you should follow. 

Most of us live relatively far from our parents, based on careers and free spirit, so we may not even have family nearby that can attend and support the delivery and recovery. 

We may not know our neighbors or any key people in our community to rely on. The people we spend the most time with (coworkers) are not necessarily people I would call after hours. 

So what is a Modern Mom-to-be to do?

1.  First is to recognize the community and support structure you have built. Could be through church, neighbors, workout groups, prenatal class, etc. Keep your eyes open for people to add to your contact list.  There are usually parents groups in most communities and they often have a support network/program for new moms. 

2.  Do not be afraid to ask for help and definitely accept offers from others.  This is not the time to be proud or try to be super-everything. You need to take care of yourself and your baby and everyone can use help during this time.  Take others up on offers of meals or babysitting while you take a shower or go grocery shopping. 

3.  Help make your partner a part of the process. Be honest with them when you need help.  Talk about each other's feelings and how you can split tasks after the baby arrives. 

4.  Finally, make sure to pay it forward.  Now that you know how hard it is, offer assistance to others when you can. 

Continue to grow your community through new mom groups and play groups. It helps to talk to other parents that have gone through this before, or are experiencing it at the same time as you. 

In the end, we will survive, just as the mothers before us. Remember to enjoy the moments, even the hard ones, because before we know it, they will be grown up and having babies of their own. 

I love "Why"

My son is in the question asking phase ... And I love it!

Some parents find the constant barrage of questions annoying, but I have found it a great way to start talking about science, even though I know he can not understand it all yet.  So far, I have explained the oxidation of rust, heat transfer principles and the importance of counterbalance on a Duplo tower. 

He spent the first two years exploring, now he is starting to question the world around him, which is the first phase of the Scientific Method.  For other scientists and techies out there, you know the scientific method is the process  scientists use to form a hypothesis, test it, analyze results and draw conclusions. 

Isn't that what childhood is all about?  Testing and drawing conclusions?  So let's help them out and verbalized the process for them. Question what they are thinking and hypothesizing about. Help them set up controlled tests. Help them think through and analyze the data. Listen to their conclusions. 

As my kids learn this process, they will be able to test and solve problems systematically. How exciting is that?

The biggest hope and expectation I have for my kids is that they help to solve the worlds major problems in the future. I will strive to give them the confidence and skills to accomplish that. 

Pride

Parenting can be tiring, especially when you are balancing a job as well. There are many times when I question if it is worth it and if I am modeling the right balance for my kids. 

Then I remind myself, you are the best example of a strong, intelligent woman for your kids. Be proud. 

Be proud of what you do. You are showing your kids that women can contribute in many ways, other than just as moms. At work, in the community and in the family.  Share what you do and what you enjoy about it with your family. 

Be proud of what you have accomplished.  Think about what you have achieved in your life, in both your career and family. Those milestones are an important part of who you are and how you have made an impression on the world. 

Be proud of your goals. Share them with your family.  By collaborating you can make all of your goals even bigger. 

By taking pride and sharing your passions, you help reinforce the confidence and expectations that they can do the same thing (and hopefully even more). 

So keep it up ladies. We can help change gender stereotypes in the tech world in the future. 

Kids room cleanup

Now is the perfect time to prep for school and make room for all the new clothes and supplies you are stocking up on. 

1. Sort

Clothes - starting with the closet is the first thing for me. I try to pare down my son's wardrobe at the end of each season, since he usually starts to grow out of things by then. As we near the end of summer, separate any clothes he/she will not be able to wear next year.  Keep a pile of shorts and short sleeves they may be able to wear in the next few warm weeks or month (these should be the favorites).  

Make sure you include the diaper bag or daycare stash. I usually have extra clothes in strategic locations and need to make sure they still fit. 

Re-evaluate the long pants and shirts to confirm they still fit, as we move into cooler weather.  Double check that you have enough coordinating outfits. 

Donate, sell or store (if you have younger children that may need them) anything that does not fit. This is the ideal time to trade in winter coats and holiday attire (including costumes) to used children/consignment shops. 

Toys - pull out all the toys and books.   Evaluate if they are still age appropriate. Depending on your child's age, involve them in the process to decide what items to give away or sell. 

Closet misc - I have used the upper shelves in my son's closet for storage of toys and books that he is not ready for yet. There is also a handful of baby items that I had not purged yet. Sort through it all and confirm what you want to keep for the future.

Changing table - I still have diapering to do, so I need to sort my changing table and make sure I have not cluttered it with items (such as old creams) that I no longer use. 

2. Scrub

Think spring cleaning. Get your kids involved to give them ownership of their space. 

Remember, everything should be pulled out of the room (except furniture) so you can get drawers and shelves clean. 

3. Set

Clothes - separate the clothes by season.  Put the summer clothes (that they will fit in next year) in a bin for storage. 

Some people organize by color. I usually organize by school clothes and play clothes. 

Toys- I have seen several other blog posts about rotating toys and games. I have also noticed that my son gets overwhelmed when he has too many toys out at once. So pack 3-4 boxes with a mix of toys, games and stuffed animals. Rotate one box out every week, to keep the choices interesting. You can even use the boxes as a toy box to put toys away daily. 

I have also tried this technique with seasonal decorations and activities. Every 3 months I bring out a fresh box of decorations and seasonal books and pack away the old. It gives the house a new feel to have changing decorations. Why wait until Christmas?

I have seen several ideas for corraling Stuffed animals, besides just a toy box.  Hanging nets seem to work well, positioned at child height. On Pinterest they have several ideas for "cages" that kids can pull stuffed animals out between slats, so they can reach the bottom and top of the pile. 

Future items -box up with a dated label

4.  Standardize

Clothes - I have not started it (my son does not care about picking out his clothes yet), but I love those days of the week organizers for clothes. It allows the children to be involved in outfit selection, but helps minimize the arguments in the morning getting dressed. At least that is what I assume. I will let you know when I get a pickier dresser. 

Start a household rule that something needs to go out when something new comes in. This could be clothes, shoes, toys or stuffed animals. This forces everyone to think about if a new item is worth getting rid of an old. 

5.  Sustain

Maintenance of the kids room is really a daily task. Kids should be involved in cleaning their rooms regularly. 

At least quarterly, you should work with your child to evaluate clothes and toys to see if there is anything they have grown out of or do not use anymore. This process sometimes entices them to use old toys again, so they may rediscover something. 

Any other ideas?

Balance - Flex time strategies for work/family

When I was asking recently about part time options at work, my mentor challenged me to really consider my objectives for a modified schedule. Do I really want full extra days with my children, or is extra time mornings or afternoons enough?  If your work hours are flexible, it might be more advantageous for both work and home to modify your schedule and/or work remotely on certain days. 

I recently looked into part time options for my work. If you have a project based job, you may be able to get approval for working less than 5 days during the week. This gives you the benefit of spending extra days with your kids and/or save a little on daycare. The drawback is that you get paid less, even if you end up doing the same amount of work.  Departments are sometimes hesitant to approve these, since they pay full benefits for part time work, so make sure you go into the negotiation with a solid plan and clear requests. 

Another option, if possible at your work, is flexing your schedule. For me, a lot of my key stakeholders are on the East coast, so not much is urgent after 3pm Pacific time. If I start a little earlier, I can leave a little earlier and have extra time to play and prep dinner. I also can catch up on afternoon emails and projects during the evening, after the kids are in bed. 

Some jobs have the benefit of working remotely. It is important to have a focused place to work in your house without distractions, but cutting out makeup prep and commute can give you more dedicated work time. (The biggest problem I have when I work remotely is eating too much. Snacks are much too accessible).

In the end, you need to be creative and find what works for both you and your employer. Your needs may change as the kids grow or even from week to week as certain events come up. If your current employer/job is inflexible, but modified schedule is very important to you, you should consider looking for a role/employer that fits your desired work/life balance. 

I know flexibility is not realistic for everyone, but for those of us that have that benefit, I encourage you to find balance. For me, that balance is working from home on Fridays and leaving at 4pm on other days, using evenings for catch up time. 

Next challenge is making sure I have time for my husband. 

Supporting women engineers

This summer I attended my 20 year high school reunion. In mental preparation for the event, I thought about what I have accomplished in life. 

I could not help feeling like I have yet to make my big " mark" on the world. Yes, I have a masters degree and a decent job, but I have not cured cancer nor solved world hunger...yet. 

Then I remembered one definition of myself that has lasted 20 years. I am an Engineer. I am also a mother and wife, but I am still an Engineer. So what makes me identify so strongly with that descriptor?

I love math and science. I am proud that I decided to study those things, in spite of being one of few females in a lot of my classes. I love solving problems and figuring out how things work. I also believe I bring a different perspective to problems, compared to my male counterparts. Maybe it is more empathy for the people side of an equation...maybe it is a preference for finesse rather than brute force. Either way, I think it strengthens collaboration to have a diverse team working on complex problems. 

Which leads me to a newly defined goal...support of women in engineering and science from birth through motherhood. There are many programs and organizations for school age kids that encourage science and math. As mothers, we are in unique positions to act as role models and start inspiring our children to embrace math and science from the beginning. We can talk about what we do and expose our kids to science through museums and activities. It's never too early to start introducing the scientific method...hypothesis, testing, collecting data, drawing conclusions. 

I will always be a mother. I believe I will always be an Engineer, whether that is my job title or not. I will continue to solve problems and share my passion with the next generation. 

Lean Meal Strategy

When I say "lean" I do not mean low fat. I am referring to methods to reduce waste in meal planning and preparation.  As a working mom, I do not have a lot of time to spend on dinner prep. I would rather spend my time in the evenings playing with the family. 

Health for me and my family is also important to me. I try to have fresh vegetables and fruit on a daily basis. "Clean eating" is something I strive for, although it is difficult when convenience is also a key goal.  Eating dinner as a family is also a priority. We can use the time to talk about our day and the little one is not excused until we are all done. 

I was recently in a parenting discussion that we talked about having "strategies" for dealing with different parenting situations. The first part of meal planning is pre-planning and preparation.  I have also discussed visualization as a tool for planning. But finally it is letting things go sometimes and having Mac and cheese or oatmeal for dinner, when you run out of time and options. 

To review, here is my current strategy:

Saturday - plan meals, I have a standard list of quick meals I rotate. I am always on the lookout for more. 

Sat/Sun - grocery shop or Costco for dairy, frozen products and bananas. 

Sunday - shop farmers market for fresh produce. 

Here are my quick, healthy meal ideas.  I try to make enough that we have lunch leftovers the following day.  Pretty soon my little one will be starting a preschool where I have to supply lunches. That will be a whole new challenge. 

Healthy meal staples:

Pasta with fresh veggies

Stir fry (frozen or fresh veggies) with quinoa (cooks faster than rice)

Salmon or fish (cooks quickly)

Fajitas (sauté chicken breast and heat up black beans and tortillas)

Crockpot stew (I had to take this out of rotation because my husband got tired of it)

Grilled chicken over salad

Personal mealtime Action plan

1.  Identify new recipes, especially using crockpot (prep in morning or night before)

2.  Do more chopping and prep on Sunday. 

3.  When meal is almost done cooking, spend 5-10 minutes quality time with my son to help him transition to meal time. 

4.  Make sure everyone is included in dinner time conversations, even the little one. By keeping him engaged, he has less reason to get bored and act out. 

5.  Research healthy lunch ideas for preschool. 

Any healthy meal ideas that work in your house are welcome. 

Visualization - planning your perfect day

I have been reading some books recently on goal setting and one of the technics that keeps coming up is Visualization. 

Visualization is about envisioning your goal  (if it is something tangible) or yourself achieving the goal. Athletes do it when training for a big race. It is important to think about all your senses (what you see, smell, hear) and how you feel to create a really powerful vision. By walking through the path to your goal in your mind, it also helps you anticipate some things that might go wrong and how you can avoid or deal with them. 

I have used this technique to plan for a road trip and what to pack. I have also used it to prep myself for the next day. I walk through the main things I want to get accomplished. I also think about some of the disruptions that sometimes get in the way and mentally prepare for them (I.e. child waking up early, traffic, etc).  Part of my daily preparation is also reviewing my schedule, so highlight anything special i need to prepare for. I also select my clothes and anything I need to bring with me to work.   By visualizing the highlights of my day ahead of time, I feel more confident about getting the important things done and do not worry as much about them. 

I am now using visualization to focus on the goal of potty training my son. It helps keep me energized about the process and feeling positive and excited about the end result. 

Table Topics

It's not that we run out of things to talk about in our family, but I am finding that we sometimes miss talking about some of the important issues because things are pretty hectic both before and after dinner. 

So I have started making a list of topics to discuss during the week at dinner.  Finances, parenting tactics, family vacation plans, etc. I shared the list with my husband, so he could prep, and I try to bring up a topic every night. It has also worked on long drives, when we get tired of singing "Old MacDonald."

Of course, our son is too young to fully participate, but he benefits by hearing how we discuss and make decisions.  When he gets older, I think we can make this a family tradition and we can rotate so that each member gets a chance to choose the topic each day. 

How do you find time to talk about the important family issues?

Save time with organized bins

Now that the weather is nice, it is time to go outside and play!

Going to the beach or camping is fun, but can be a lot of work to plan and pack. So now is a good time to get pre-packed boxes in order. 

We just camped for the first time with our toddler this weekend. Thankfully, we were with family, so everyone pitched in to help entertain and cook, etc. Now I am ready to organize our own bins, so we could do this on our own. 

Here are some ideas we are going to try this season:

Camping Cook box - pots/pans, cooking/serving utensils, can opener, knife, cutting board, dish soap and sponge, matches and extra flashlight, bins for washing dishes, towels/cloths. 

Picnic box/basket (could be used camping or a day picnic)

Plates, Bowls, Cups, Utensils, small cutting board and knife, bottle opener, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, table cloth, napkins. 

Swimming bin/bag

Bag for each family member with swimsuit, swim shoes/flip flops and towel.

Extra bin with goggles, sunblock and swim toys

Beach bin

Beach blanket, Sand toys, Kite, Sunblock, beach ball, etc. 

Travel emergency bag (to be kept in car and checked quarterly)

First aid kit, dry snacks (granola bars), water bottles, blanket, towel, wet wipes, extra diapers and trash bags.

What other ideas do you have to organize summer fun?

The Power of Routines

Routines are a powerful thing. We know they work for our kids (think bedtime routines), so why not use them more often for yourself?

I am working on creating a weekly cleaning routine. The idea is to do a little cleaning and laundry every day, so it does not pile up and overwhelm me on the weekends. 

Example:  

Monday - clean toilets/sinks, wash linens

Tuesday - dust, wash lights

Wednesday - vacuum, wash darks

Thursday - mop, wash kids

Friday - catch all 

Saturday - mirrors/windows, wash work clothes

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit, so now I need to build a routine to make sure I stay on track. 

1.  Daily to do list - I review my daily to do list every night and morning, to make sure key tasks are captured and I have a plan to address the most important tasks.  Remember, do first things first. 

Note - I use the Evernote app on my Smartphone for most of my list making. It means I can check my list anywhere. At work I use Microsoft Onenote.

2.  Schedule - blocking time for key activities helps prioritize what you should be working on. After my son goes to bed is my housework time. I wash dishes and do the daily cleaning. 

I have also heard using a timer helps focus your cleaning efforts for a specific 15 minute block. 

3.  Reminders - I put my daily clean/laundry schedule on my command center (currently a whiteboard on my fridge) so I would see it every day as a reminder. 

4.  Accountability - having a partner that helps hold you accountable is important whenever you are making a change. Get your spouse or children involved in the schedule. I also found an app called "Lift" that allows you to track how often you achieve your daily habits and see your frequency and progress.  

The hardest part of a new habit is finding time and sticking to it. With the motivation of a cleaner and more comfortable house, I am determined to make this habit stick. 

When in Rome...take time to wander

My parents just got back from Italy and one thing they were impressed with is how common it was for people to spend the evening out strolling and visiting. Italians of all ages and families could be seen in the plazas enjoying the evening air. 

In Portuguese, I have heard it called " passear, " but I am not sure what the equivalent would be in English. Maybe to "cruise."

Their experience reminded me of the importance of slowing down, getting outside and networking with your neighbors and friends.  All of these things are goals for me, especially with an active toddler. 

Of course, in European cities, this may be a little easier, since they have plazas everywhere.  But even in American suburbia, there are usually parks or common areas in a community within walking distance.  Ideally, you feel safe walking around your neighborhood before the sun sets. If not, I suggest finding a park or local community event in the area. 

Now that summer is fast approaching and there is light later in the evening, I am challenging myself to spend more time, cruising the neighborhood with my family.   Hopefully we will meet more neighbors, get some exercise and spend some quality time outside, before bedtime. 

Now it's time to passear. 

Why work?

Every once in awhile, when talking with another mom, I get the question about why I went back to work.

Part of it is financial, but if I decided to stay home full time, my husband and I could probably figure something out. So really, it is a personal choice.
Sometimes, going to work is a relief. I get to be in control of my day and have adult conversations. I can close the bathroom door and eat lunch without worrying about utensils getting dropped or thrown. I am usually more tired after the weekend than on a week day. Most of all, I enjoy the challenge of the work that I do.

Sure, sometimes I feel guilty and fear that I may scar him for life. Especially when I count the waking hours my son is in child care vs. with me. So I make sure that the time we are together is quality time. Plus, I believe I am happier with the balance I have chosen.

I have decided that working is part of my identity. It defines me as something more than a mom.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against that title or choice, but it is not my primary definition for myself. Even if I stayed home full time, I think I would still be involved in something aggressively, like a mothers club, church or community.
For now, I choose to apply my skills to a full time job. I say for now, because that may change in the future. I may look at part time options or helping community organizations.

As we all know, as our families change, our priorities change. My priority will always be my family, but I have chosen to balance that with other activities and work in my life.

No more paper towels

The intent of Lean principles are to reduce waste. One new year's habit I started to implement is reducing paper waste in the kitchen.

There are two areas I am working on:
1. Napkins
Eating with a toddler can be messy business, but I am trying out cloth bibs for baby and cloth napkins for the rest of the family. I went shopping after the holidays and found some cheap placemat/napkin sets to use for everyday meals. Since it is just my husband and I, we do not go through them very quickly.
I have a stack of washcloths that I use for wiping up baby and messes after meals and throw them in a wash pile each day. I have enough to last me a week. You can use baby washcloths, cloth diapers or rags.


2. Paper towels
I used to lean on paper towels because they are easy. You can wipe up spills and throw them away without another thought.
The trick to create an easy to use system with cloth, is to make rags and/or towels accessible and plentiful. I realized I had a lot of kitchen towels around that I never used. Once you clean up a spill, hang the towel in the laundry room to dry. I rarely have more than half a load at the end of the week.

Next step for cutting waste, reducing packaging. I buy a lot of high use dry goods in bulk at Club stores, but that usually comes with a lot of extra boxes. Granted, most of it is recyclable, but another option would be to bring my own containers and fill them at the bulk bins of the grocery store. I have not made any changes yet, just thinking about it.

What waste reduction ideas do you use at home?

Road trips with toddlers

We just completed a 12 hour drive from California to Arizona, twice, with a two year old. We survived, but we were all ready to scream by the end of each trip. What did we learn?

1. Take breaks
Road trips take longer with little ones. Just accept that. Their bladders are smaller and self control is not as strong as adults. So plan in rest stops. This time, we used rest stops and McDonalds play lands for stretch breaks. When our son gets older, we may plan the stops to coincide with the giant mechanical dinosaur or other exciting roadside attractions.

2. Lots of healthy snacks
We brought a collapsible cooler with fruit, cheese sticks, pb&j sandwiches, crackers and granola bars. We had enough snacks that we could time lunch for when it was convenient, rather than being starving.
Plus snacks are a good distraction.

3. Bring something new
Lots of excitement can be built up by knowing something new will be unwrapped for the trip. In our case, it was a reusable sticker set by Melissa &Doug. A travel game or cd could also do the trick.

4. Pay Attention
This applies to the passenger as well as the driver. The passenger's job is to entertain the kids, so the driver can focus on driving. As the journey drags on, this gets harder for everyone, but it is imperative for safety.
When I was driving, I was tempted to sing and play along, but when driving in LA traffic, that is not always prudent.

5. Stay positive
Kids pickup on your energy and attitude, so try to keep the attention on fun and adventure. If something unexpected happens, take a deep breath and reassure them.

I am sure this is not our last road trip, so there will more time to refine this tips in the future.

Sugar is a Toxin?? Eat like a caveman?? What's a mom to do?

I recently heard about a study published by a UCSF pediatrics professor (Robert Lustig) on the impact of sugar (specifically fructose) on obesity and diabetes. Dr. Lustig studies child diabetes and obesity and postulates that the liver has to break down fructose (present in fruit, as well as refined sugars) in a different way then glucose (carbohydrates), which results in fat and contributes to hypertension and diabetes.
You can check out his lecture "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" on YouTube. (Note, it is an academic lecture, so there is plenty of biochemistry, but if you can stick through it and it does not give you debilitating flashbacks of college, he makes some valid points.). The biggest villain that he mentions is sugared beverages (soda, gatorade and chocolate milk). His primary recommendation to families of obese children is to cut out all beverages except water and milk.

I have also been curious of this new "Paleo Diet" phenomenon. It is an eating philosophy modeled after the Hunters and Gatherers of the Paleolithic age. It focuses on animal, fish and nut proteins, as well as fruits and vegetables and cuts out all grains, legumes (peanuts, soy, lentils), refined sugars and in most cases, dairy. The idea is that our bodies have not evolved to properly metabolize the "new world" foods and they may cause inflammation, as well as other health problems.

I am not going to debate either of these dietary hypotheses, but I will share my philosophy. I believe that processed foods are not as healthy as food fresh from the farm. In our societies' efficiency of making food "fast," cheap and last longer, we have stripped many of the healthy attributes out of the grocery store. As a manufacturing engineer, I understand the dilemma.

As a healthy adult and mother, how do I manage providing "healthy" meals for my family?
I have been trying to limit sugar and processed foods, especially for my toddler. He only drinks water, milk and soy milk, rarely gets cookies and never gets candy. (This is slightly hypocritical, since I have a sweet tooth and keep a secret stash of chocolate for myself). But it is not easy or feasible to prepare quick, fresh, and healthy meals every day.

Here are some suggestions for what has worked in our house:
1. Prioritize. Having healthy meals and snacks is important to me, so I need to make time to shop and prepare. I do not rely on TV dinners or fast food. We shop at the farmers market every week for Organic produce. I plan and prep on the weekend. We also have primarily healthy snacks around the house (yogurt, no sugar added apple sauce, fruit). For "splurges" we have graham crackers.

2. Identify limits. My eating philosophy is moderation. I try to have vegetable heavy meals, knowing that I do not have resources (time and money) to build everything from scratch. We get store bought pasta and sauce, but I add lots of fresh and frozen vegetables. I buy whole wheat, multigrain bread and we look for sauces and dressings without added sugar. Not everything has to be organic or sugar-free, but we look for those options when we can.

3. Keep learning and improving. One of my goals for this year is to learn and add new easy recipes to my cooking rotation. When I get tired, I fall back on pasta and stir fries, but you can only eat those for so long.

What suggestions do you have to manage healthy meals for the family?

Mom shortcuts - morning prep

Morning prep is one of the most stressful parts of my day. There is a finite window in which to get everything done. Sure, I could get up earlier, but that does not always happen...it is so nice and cozy in bed after the alarm goes off.

So I have built some preparation into my night time routine, to add shortcuts to my morning.

1. I pick out the clothes my son will wear and set them out near the changing table. This way, I do not have to fumble in his drawers while he whines about breakfast in the morning and just in case daddy gets up first, he will know what to dress him in. I have also seen kids closet organizers with spots for clothes for each day of the week. As he gets older and capable of dressing himself, I will probably start something like that.

2. I pick out my clothes for the next day. I actually I select all my work outfits for the week on Sunday. When I get dressed, it is usually in the semi-dark and I do not want to worry about decisions before I have breakfast.

3. For Christmas, I got my husband a programmable coffee maker, so we can set it up the night before. Definitely worth it.

4. Before I get ready for bed, I pick up the clutter in the living room and kitchen, so everything will be in its place in the morning. It is a lot nicer to come downstairs and see an uncluttered room. Plus, I like not being afraid I am going to step on a toy car.

5. I prep lunches and the dinner for the next night. I get out the crockpot or grill and any canned ingredients and put them on the counter. It helps me remember what I planned to cook.

Any other ideas for prepping the night before?

Mom affirmations - untidy house guilt

I was over at a single friends house recently and secretly jealous of how neat and tidy their house was. I lamented that my house never was so orderly.
Then I remembered that I am not the only one in my house. Its hard to remember, but when I was single, my bed was usually made and items were put back in their "proper" place.

I understand that I will not be able to control everyone in my house and I can not follow everyone around constantly. But maybe I can designate one or two small areas that are my organized spots. Like the laundry room and/or my makeup cabinet. Instead of worrying about every area every day, I can focus on keeping my areas tidy.

In the end, I recognize that I have some things my single friends do not. They have a clean house and I have my cluttered toy room and tidy makeup drawer.

Find your Community

Nature has made us resilient creatures, but when faced with major changes or adversity, I am reminded of the importance of community.

Although I wish I could do it all, (have successful full time job, spend quality time with my family and run a healthy household), that is not realistic without help.
If we look to history, communities used to be more like family. Women helped each other through pregnancy and raising their children. Neighbors helped those in need.

Now we have developed into a society where children move away from family and are isolated in individual homes. We often work a distance from our homes and we like to keep those parts of our lives separate. That results in us being separated from our natural support network and spending a majority of our waking hours with coworkers that know nothing of our home life.

So how do we keep from getting isolated when we are faced with change and challenges?
I have heard that when faced with crisis (like a natural disaster) women are the first to adapt by building networks and communities.

Here are some effective ways I have seen to build and maintain your network:

1. ReConnect with family and friends
Technology makes this even easier. We are all familiar with social media, like Facebook and Twitter, but even email is not as personal as face to face. We use Skype a lot to talk to family. It helps for us to see facial expressions and allows family to watch our son grow.
The best option is seeing your family and friends in person. I have a New Years goal to host a dinner for friends or family at least once a month.
And do not forget family reunions and celebration events. Although you might not agree with your relatives on politics, you may be able to agree that grandma made the best chocolate chip cookies.

2. Meet your neighbors
When you have kids, the easiest place to meet other parents is on the Playground. Even if you do not know them well, you can usually swap kid stories, especially if their kids are in the same age range.
Meeting my neighbors takes a little more extroversion than my husband and I naturally have, so if you are like us, look for opportunities when others organize something (block party, neighborhood night out, etc) to participate.

3. Special interest groups
Look for organizations where you have something in common. Examples: Alumni, hobbies, church, parents groups. Local parents groups are especially good for new parents to connect with others in similar situations. I do admit it is difficult to find active working mother groups, since we do not usually have a lot of extra time. The ones I have seen work planned family activities.
You can usually search on the web for these type of organizations or use Meetup.com.

4. Volunteer
Volunteering is an excellent way to give back and get involved in your community. It makes you feel good and you can meet others with similar values.
One challenge I am struggling with is finding an activity/organization that I can help, without taking time away from my family. I have been investigating options near my work, as well as activities that include kids. Let me know if you have ideas.

In the end, remember that you are not alone. There are many friends, family and others in similar situations that are willing to help you, you just have to reach out.

Meal Planning basics

Meal planning is an important part of being prepared for the week. It not only saves time on a daily basis, it saves money. When you meal plan and shop with a list, you are less likely to buy extra stuff you do not need and end up throwing away.

Here are my steps for meal planning:

1. Friday or Saturday I look through my recipes and online for meals I want to cook that week. I also ask my husband for suggestions. I select 6-7, knowing I will pare them down in the next step.

2. Schedule which meals to make which days. I try to plan meals that are quick to prepare (pasta, fajitas, grilled fish) or can be prepped the night before (crockpot meals) for the weekdays. If I find a recipe that takes a little more prep time, I plan it for Sunday night. I also consider if either of us have evening activities or plan to work late. I definitely want easy meals on those days when only one of us has to cook and entertain our toddler. I think about which meals are more likely to have leftovers and space them out through the week. I also assume that Friday or Saturday will be leftovers or pizza/takeout nights. If there are leftover recipes, I save them until the next week.
When reviewing the menu, I try to ensure that we have a protein and several servings of vegetables at each meal. I also think about what vegetables are in season, to incorporate fresh choices as much as possible. This time of year, that is difficult, unless you love beets.
Also, take a look at what you have around the house. Try to incorporate some of what you already have on the shelves.

3. Once you have your menu, it is time to make grocery lists. I have magnetic notepads on the fridge, so if we are low on something mid-week, I can record it then. I typically make a list for the grocery store, farmers market and Costco. We go to Costco every other week to stock up on staples (milk, yogurt, pasta, frozen meat, Etc). Fresh produce I try to find at the farmers market and the grocery store for everything else. I have heard of people that make their list in order of the store layout, but use whatever works for you. There are also multiple apps, including one from Safeway that allows you to create a list on your mobile device.

4. When you go shopping, stick to your list. The extras are what cause us to waste money and extra food in the house creates temptations to snack more.

5. I use post it's on a calendar to map out my weekly menu and remind me what I need to prep each night. This is also handy because I cook a lot of the same meals each week (Eg. Pasta). I try to thaw chicken two days ahead of time, so I add that task to my to do list to prep for chicken nights. After we finish dinner each night, I look at the menu and decide what needs to be prepped. Usually it is chopping vegetables or getting the appliances out (crockpot, grill) for the next days meal.

For me, the extra planning gives me peace of mind when I am driving home each day.

Mom shortcuts - Dinner ideas

Dinner is one of the most stressful times for me. I come home after a long day of work and everyone is hungry, including me. Here are some tactics I use to ease the stress:

Meal planning- weekend planning is critical to help the week go smoothly. I will cover this more specifically later, but it entails planning potential meals, creating a shopping list, and shopping before the week and the pandemonium begins.

Crockpots - if you chop veggies and cook meat the night before, you can add it all to the crockpot in the morning and it is warm and simmering when you get home. One caveat is that too many soups and stews in a week can be repetitive for the family. am working on collecting some new recipes so that we do not get sick of vegetable stew.

Frozen veggies - I try to have veggies in every meal, but it is hard to find some seasonal vegetables all year round. Plus there is the extra prep with chopping. Frozen vegetables actually keep a lot of the healthy properties of fresh vegetables and are usually already prepped.

Lunches - I try to plan meals I can make in bulk so we have leftovers for lunch. Pasta and chili are on heavy rotation on my list.

Hand made Frozen meals - on weekends I am really prepared, I sometimes make double meals and freeze one for later. This does not happen ver often, so it is one of my resolutions to do more frequently. There are also businesses where you can pay to prep meals (Dream Dinners). It is nice to have all the ingredients organized and prepped for you and you can decide how much spice and salt you put in.

Healthy pre-dinner snacks- sometimes you just need to settle the troops while you put the finishing touches on a meal. If they can not wait, I try to appease them with healthy appetizers, like milk, yogurt or heated frozen peas.

Bottom line, the more thought and preparation on the weekend or night before helps to smooth the transition from work to dinner.

Green cleaning ideas

Having a young one around the house, I am more aware of the chemicals we have and use and have been looking for some alternatives.
I still like the properties of disinfectants, after handling meat and fish, but for everyday use, greener solutions should work just saw well, if not better than harsh chemicals.

There are many websites out there with green cleaning suggestions and DIY products. Here are some of my favorites.

Www.Marthastewart.com describes DIY cleaners made with the following ingredients.

Baking soda (aka sodium bicarbonate) A deodorizer and gentle scrub; softens hard water, removes acidic stains, and polishes shiny surfaces like stainless steel without scratching.

Distilled white vinegar A deodorizer, disinfectant, mild acid, and preservÂative; breaks up dirt, grease, mineral deposits, mold, and soap scum.

Essential oils Aromatic plant oils; some, including eucalyptus, lavender, and tea tree, are natural disinfecÂtants and antifungals. Pure essential oils can irritate eyes and skin upon contact, so handle carefully. Pregnant women should consult a health-care practitioner before using. Available from mountainroseherbs.com and natural foods stores.

Lemon A deodorizer, stain remover, and grease cutter; acts as a mild bleach when exposed to sunlight.

Olive oil A natural oil that helps to nourish and polish wood.

Plant-based liquid soap Gentle soap made with oils such as olive ("Castile soap"), palm, and coconut, rather than petroleum derivatives or animal fat. Available from natural foods stores and drbronner.com.

See the website for more details.


Blogger and Professional organizer Anna Moseley has lots of good ideas.
http://askannamoseley.com/2011/07/great-uses-for-baking-soda/

Live in the moment - Slow down and nap

Is there anything better than watching a baby sleep?
Cuddling with that baby while you sleep!

Sometimes I have been known to over schedule, not only myself, but my family. There are so many things I want to get done on the weekend and I want to take advantage of every story time and play group.
When things start to get too crazy, that's usually when my toddler reminds me it's nap time. And as most of you know, that is not a subtle nor quiet reminder. It usually starts with whining or crying and can end in a full out tantrum, if I do not heed the signs and help ease the transition to sleep.

The transition to nap can entail a car ride, after a morning at the zoo or park, or a (hopefully short) walk in the stroller. Last week, I ended up on a 3 mile loop around Lake Merritt because it took him half the trip to calm down enough to sleep.
Then there is the transition from car to bed. If it does not go smoothly, my new tactic is to lie down with him, until he falls back asleep.

During the week my son is in daycare full time. They have him on a strict schedule and he sleeps 2 hours consistently every afternoon. On the weekends, our routine is not as exact, because we are usually trying to fit in a fun regional activity. We schedule in time for nap, but with transit times, it is not always as successful.

Which is why I sometimes lay down with my son to get the nap started. And I found, that I was tired too and in need of some rest. I usually try to do errands around the house while he napped (laundry, bills, menu planning, etc), and not let myself rest. Now I have been letting myself fall asleep. And when I wake up, I am snuggled with a little warm bundle of sweetness.

We need naps too, sometimes. Not just when we are in that first 3-months post partum. And enjoy that moment of opening your eyes, well rested, and watching your baby sleep.

Live in the Moment - Birthdays

My son is turning 2!
And this year he understands that all the attention will be on him.

Meanwhile, I am trying to plan a party for 20 adults and several toddlers to celebrate.

How do I make sure that we both enjoy this moment, as he gets older?

1. Spend quality one on one time. I decided to come home early from work on my sons birthday to spend some time focused on him, without any distractions, like getting dinner ready.

2. I am planning group activities for his party to divert some of the attention from him (at least temporarily). Giving out goodie bags while your child is opening presents, helps distract the other kids temporarily and gives them something to play with, other than the new toys.

3. Take lots of pictures, to capture the moment for the future.

4. Birthdays are a reminder to me to go through his keepsake box and organize the last year's scraps and memories. I also make a photo book, with my favorite pictures from the last year.

5. Ask for help. Most of the guests are family, so they volunteered to help setup, with food and cleanup. When people are asked to help out, they are usually very willing, so do not be shy. You can not do it all by yourself and stay sane.

6. Quiet time - the day after the event I am trying not to schedule anything, so we can focus on cleaning up and taking time to enjoy the new friends (and toys) we have.

In the end, remember to be flexible and enjoy the moment. Even if no one breaks the piñata and you have to dump it out by hand (speaking from experience), they will still have fun.

Healthy Date ideas

I have heard that doing something challenging together, helps strengthen bonds with your spouse. Here are some fun "bonding" activities we have enjoyed.

1. Cooking class
Neither of us are gourmet cooks, but we love to eat. A cooking class was a fun way to learn something new. We were in a group class, so we got to interact with other people as well. We got to help out with preparing a meal and then ate it. Yum!

2. Dance class
I love to dance, so I was very excited when my husband agreed to take Tango lessons. We were not the most graceful on the dance floor, but we learned a few moves to try every once in awhile. Plus it is a good workout.

3. Hiking
Once we get into summer and it is light later, this can be a great early date event. You can hike after work, then go out to dinner (or pick up the little ones). Hiking or walking together gives you time to talk, without being distracted by anything but the view.

4. Rock climbing
Indoor rock gyms are fairly common now. They usually have a climbing area for beginners. We found a place that has auto-belays, so you do not need training to belay the other person. This is also a great pre-dinner workout.

5. Local theatre
No matter where you live, there is usually a local theatre or high school drama program nearby. It is not only fun to support local arts, there is plenty to talk about as you dissect the play afterwards.

First Haircut - Little Scissors

Just took my 2-year old for his first haircut to Little Scissors in the Fremont Hub. I was impressed.

First, they have little cars for the kids to sit in, instead of seats. That got my toddler interested. They also had a movie playing and some toys and books to play with while we waited.
They moved very quickly, which was good because he started to cry and did not want to sit very long.

The cost was about the same as an adult at Supercuts ($16), but it was worth it for the pleasant experience.

The only thing they could do better is provide ice cream. They did have stickers, though.

Hiking in the East Bay

Before we had kids, my husband and I used to get outside to hike a lot. Now that we have a little one, it is a little more difficult, but we still try to go on hikes when we can.

A few tips we have learned the hard way.
1. Get a decent child carrier. Carrying extra weight is difficult, especially when it is shifting around. You do not want to hurt yourself or your back.
2. Bring lots of snacks and water. You need to stay hydrated and you both need sustenance. Plus, the little ones do not whine as much when their mouth is full.
3. Make sure your child is bundled appropriately. You may be hot, but they are not exerting the energy you are, so make sure they are warm enough.
4. Remember sunscreen, even in the winter.
5. Don't try to tackle too much. You may not be able to go as fast or as far as you used to. There are times you will have to turn around and go home before you we're ready. Enjoy the fact that you can share this hobby with your kids.

Here are some suggestions we have for the East bay (Bay Area):

Coyote Hills Regional Park - there is a 3 mile paved trail around the perimeter, that you can take a stroller on. If you have a carrier, you can hike over the hills. Great views of the bay and bridges, as well as a lot of bird watching. There is a visitor center that often has activities for older kids. There is a parking fee, but you can park outside and walk in (about a mile).

Sunol-Ohlone Regional Wilderness Area - just did some hiking here on a sunny January weekend. We chose a trail over the hill to "Little Yosemite" and then returned on the access road (flat gravel road). Approx. 3 miles round trip. Good views of the Sunol hills and Alameda creek. My son enjoyed seeing cows, birds and a group of horseback riders. There is a small visitor center and parking is $5 per car.

Mission Peak - This 5.6 mile out and back trail is a more serious hike, especially when carrying extra weight. Plan to bring plenty of water and snacks and/or sandwiches. It involves many switchbacks and 2100 feet elevation gain. The view from the peak is worth it. You can see across the bay one direction and East to the valley the other. There are a lot of dogs on the trail and some ground mammals on the hills for the little one to watch.

Tilden Regional Park - Tilden has a bunch of great features within the area. We have visited the steam train (great for train enthusiasts) and botanic gardens, but have not made it to the Carousel or little farm yet. There are several different parking areas, depending on which side you want to visit. We usually do the kid stuff, then go on a hike. There are plenty of quick hikes that give you nice views.

Lake Chabot is on our list, but have not made it yet.



Additional resources at www.ebparks.org (East Bay Regional Parks).

Shortcuts of a working mom

Working moms know that you can not get everything done. As much as we want and even try to be wonder woman, we are human and there is only so much time in a day.

I read an article recently in the Harvard Business Review about time management. It reiterated the tenant that we can not get everything done with A level work, so successful people prioritize what activities and time investments will get them more payout in the future. There are some things we have to get done (cooking and preparing kids for school), but some things are low priority and can be done with minimal effort or dismissed (keeping an immaculate house comes to mind).

In future posts, I can share with you some of the "shortcuts" I take to save time on the minor daily tasks in order to spend more quality time with the family. Since I work full time, I try to be fully present from dinner to bedtime with my family. This means no checking email or surfing the web, so I have to catch up on that after bedtime. I strategically allocate this time to my family.

As mothers with limited time, we have to evaluate our to do lists and prioritize what is an investment and high value, what is neutral (must be done) and what is a nice to do, but not imperative. Think about eliminating, delegating or delaying the non value activities so you can focus on the good stuff.

I am still working on this, since I tend to try to do it all. I need to remind myself to evaluate my priorities and just say no if it does not add value for me and my family.

Reinventing your Hobbies...with kids

Especially after your first child, your life becomes focused on your children. Hobbies that had previously filled your weekends and evenings, now get pushed aside with activities like "watching baby" or singing with baby or reading to baby (all important activities, don't get me wrong).

It is interesting how your interests and hobbies change over time, sometimes drastically. When you are single, you have your own interests and hobbies. After getting married, you merge some of those, but still keep some personal interests. Once you have kids, your joint interests become things to do with the family and your personal interests become your much needed alone time.

As I redefine myself as a mother, I have been trying to identify some of my former passions and hobbies and how I can incorporate them into a family event.

Sometimes we do a family run on the weekend. One of us takes the dog and the other pushes the baby in the running stroller and we go on a run...together. That is a perfect family outing to me. Other times, it is just me and the baby, as my husband sleeps in.

For Christmas, we got a bike trailer to pull our little one behind our bikes. My husband rides to work a couple days a week and has a nice road bike. Unfortunately, I have not ridden since I was pregnant, so I am anxious to have some nice family outings and get exercise.

There are plenty of accessible hiking trails in our area. When the little one was smaller, it was easier to take him in the baby backpack. Now he is getting heavier, so it is getting more challenging. He is not quite big enough to walk for very far, so we tend to look for paved trails where we can take a stroller.

One of my former activities was wine tasting. I loved to explore less popular wine regions and meet the owners. Obviously the tasting part is not appropriate for kids, but there are beautiful winery locations that are kid friendly and have space to run around. (I will let you know when I identify them).

All in all, it is a good idea to share your passions with your children. There may be ages when they are not big enough to appreciate the experience, so you may have to wait until they are older, but there should be creative ways you can continue to practice healthy activities.

Now who is up for a family run?