Letter to my Daughter

Dear baby girl,

Right now, you are exploring the world and testing your boundaries.  You are slowly learning the rules (both physical and mental) that bring order to our lives.  I hope that you also learn that you do not always have to follow the rules.  Part of growing up is learning the rules and gaining the confidence to make your own decisions. You can do whatever you want to do...there are consequences either way.

This is sometimes hard for me because I am a rule follower.  Looking back, I have made mistakes when I followed the rules and did not trust my instincts.  I have been known to get caught up in the letter of the law, rather than the spirit of the law. The fear of not being accepted can overpower my gut reaction.

Sometimes I get it right and make brave choices.  I studied Engineering because I liked math and science.  I did not care that I was only 1 of 2 women in my classes.  After college I had a successful career, but I was disappointed by the career path, so I quit and joined the Peace Corps.  As a teacher in Africa, I learned a lot and felt more appreciated.

Sometimes I get caught up in the rules and others’ perceptions.  I let others make decisions, because I thought they were stronger or knew better.  I do not speak up when others were gossiping or making fun of another group.  I felt different and I felt alone.  When I did not share my opinion, I was not being true to myself and I was not being authentic to the world around me.  That is usually when I take a step back and make a new plan to start fresh.

Like me, you are going to make mistakes.  This is part of being human.    When you do, learn from them and move on.  Give yourself grace and know that God made you just the way you are.  Trust your inner voice and share your unique perspective.  Your choices will be hard at times, but bravery is making your own choices and trusting your instincts regardless of the status quo.

You are not alone.  There are others struggling with similar decisions.  Know that your friends and family are here to support you.  

I hope that I have been a brave role model for you and your brother.  I hope that I have trusted you enough to allow you to be brave.  I look forward to seeing your bravery as you make your own impression on the world.  

Love,

Your Mom