Transitions

Transitions are changes, sometimes planned, but not always in our control.  There are a lot of transitions in my household right now, as we just welcomed a new baby into the world. My husband and I are transitioning into parenting two kids and my toddler is transitioning into being a big brother, with someone new to share the attention. 

In the midst of these changes, there are days I am overwhelmed and it is hard to remember any light at the end of the tunnel. 

When dealing with change, I suggest thinking about the Past, Present, and Future.

Just like the Christmas Carol story, being able to think about these time periods will help you gain perspective. 

Past

Although you do not want to dwell on the past and how easy everything was before.  Instead, you can reflect on Past accomplishments. 

When life seems especially hard, remember some of the big things you have accomplished and already overcome. This helps me gain perspective. When thinking of past accomplishments, I remember how strong and resilient I am. 

When running my first (and only) marathon, during the last mile, I told myself that this was nothing compared to labor. Knowing I had endured pain and fatigue before helped me power through to complete 26.2 miles. 

Preserve good memories and Learn from mistakes. 

Present

Be present. Enjoy the positives. 

Even if the moment is painful, focus on the little things that you will look back on.  

During sleepless nights with my newborn, I focus on her tiny face and features. I know she will not be this small forever, so I need to soak it in now. 

Be patient, especially with yourself. 

The challenges of the changes may seem overwhelming and you may not recognize your progress. Take a step back when you get frustrated and recognize how much you have accomplished and how far you have come. Currently, I feel like I have made no progress on getting my baby to sleep through the night, but then I remember it has only been 3 weeks. 

Plan for the future 

You can not control the outcome of your change or transition, but you can prepare.  

Part of that is preparing yourself to be flexible.  As much as we plan, we do not always get the expected results, especially with kids. As situations change, you can alter your plan and try something different. 

Life is a journey, so our job is to learn, grow and help others along the way. 

Our toddler has recently had several major transitions. He is a big brother and we are in the midst of potty training. Not an ideal combo, I know. So how can I use this advice for his situation?

1.  Use the example if his baby sister to remind him of the things he could not do before, but now he can as a big boy. 

2.  Talk about the importance of being a big brother and how he can demonstrate that. 

3.  Use positive rewards for "big boy" and "big brother" behavior...using the potty, setting the table, clearing his plate, picking up his toys/books. 

Ok, so I am still in the midst of this experiment, but I will let you know how it goes.