When do we talk? My challenge communicating with my spouse.

When you have kids, the days are busy. Even more so when you have two. My husband and I are finding that we spend most of our time at home entertaining our toddler or rocking our newborn. By the time they go to bed, we are so exhausted, we hardly have enough brain power to get ourselves ready for bed, let alone have an intellectual discussion. 

So when do we talk about the important things like family finances, discipline and careers?

It used to be during mealtimes, but now, even if the subject matter and debate were appropriate for our 3 year old, we get distracted by trying to get him to eat and/or stay sitting at the table. 

Mornings are a time sensitive challenge getting everyone fed and dressed. 

Evenings are spent soaking up quality time with our kids, since we both work fill time. 

The best time so far has been in the car driving to the park or a weekend outing. 

Here are some new habits I adopted to try to facilitate and promote discussions:

1.  I started making a list of topics I want to discuss. Everything from weekend activities to current events. Geeky, I know, but I use it to prompt discussions when we have time (like driving to the park ). 

2.  I use email to ask questions or request a certain topic be discussed, in case I forget later. 

3.  If it needs to be decided before the weekend, I bring it up right away.  My husband does not like surprises and we both like to be involved in planning the schedule. 

4.  Plan a date night to discuss key topics, like financial plans and potential career changes. Guess what, tax season is upon is and that always prompts some discussion. 

We are still working on carving out time.  Both for these discussions and for ourselves.